I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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