I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
