He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
