her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
