I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she told me i tasted like america
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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