the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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