That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
