dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
