She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
