quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
