i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize