Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
