So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
