I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize