I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
