Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
