also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
