Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
