sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
being pregnant is like rehab
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
