3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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