"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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