U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
