There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize