Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize