She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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