Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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