who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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