I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
