its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
