Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
