The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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