Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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