I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i will never coherently bang her
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
