I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The ass gains better be worth it
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