why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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