Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
