too bad you live with your parents still
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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