therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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