; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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