We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
