Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I cockslap morals
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
