youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
