Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
