so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
