quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize