I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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