I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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