end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Congratulations! We have a period
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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