guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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