When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
