Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
