Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize