I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If I die, sorry about rent.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
