going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Help. Why am I so naked?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
