Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
