Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
