That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
