yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
